


We'll See Where We Land

by foolofatook001



Series: Are You Aaron Burr, Sir? [2]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Anarchy Bros for life Antarctic Empire let's goooooo, Bit of violence but nothing too graphic, Gen, I like Quackity I swear, Phil is yet again Not Amused, Political Intrigue Abounds, Ran-'Oh God I need a backbone'-boo, but he's a bit of a muffin head in this one, eighty percent chance he's possessed by Schlatt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:34:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28547964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foolofatook001/pseuds/foolofatook001
Summary: In which the government of L'Manberg discovers Ranboo has been playing both sides, and our favorite half-Enderman has a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day. Rated T for referenced violence? Just to be on the safe side.Very non-canon. Just sayin’.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), cmon guys really? that's not what we're about here
Series: Are You Aaron Burr, Sir? [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2089509
Comments: 21
Kudos: 250





	1. Pieces Sacrificed in Every Game of Chess

**Author's Note:**

> "Oh God I need a backbone" - Ranboo
> 
> So uh I started writing this a few days ago and then Ranboo's book went missing and I was like well okay I need to work THAT in and then this whole thing happened... Hoo boy. ANYway, the title of this piece is another Hamilton lyric, from "Aaron Burr, Sir" (we're running with a theme here thanks for that Ghostbur), and the chapter title is from "The Room Where It Happens." I think we're going to have two chapters but I'm not 100% confident on that one so it's staying a '?' for now.
> 
> Also I know Ranboo got the book back at the end of his stream but shhh we're not entirely following canon here--
> 
> Digital chocolate chip cookies if you catch the other Hamilton lyric I stuck in the story proper (it's really obvious but I'll still give you my undying affection lol)

It’s raining in L’Manberg and he can’t find his umbrella, and that is Ranboo’s first indication that today is going to be a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day.

The second is that there is a cabinet meeting today. Normally he wouldn’t mind a cabinet meeting. He just takes the minutes and nods along, watching the government at work. But since he was pulled into the Butcher Army, they expect him to have more input. He supposes it makes sense—he’s proven himself, almost—and he _does_ intend to run for president when Tubbo’s term is up, so he _should_ get some experience…

But some of Quackity and Fundy’s decisions and plans don’t sit well with him. The trialless execution of Technoblade (which was ultimately unsuccessful but still); the obsession Quackity seems to be developing with killing Dream; Phil’s house arrest.

Ranboo hasn’t seen Phil in about a week, not since he last went to Techno’s base. The older man had been doing well, clearly happy to be out of L’Manberg and back into plotting anarchy with his oldest friend and his youngest son. Ghostbur still comes drifting through L’Manberg every so often, and Ranboo will chat with him a little, but even Ghostbur seems to have found better places to be most of the time. Ranboo can’t really blame him. L’Manberg is a fearful shell of its former self. 

Which brings him to reason number three of why today is going to be a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day: he has to go and pretend like he hasn’t been playing both sides in an effort to please everyone while in a meeting with arguably some of the most paranoid men on the server… and one of them may have found his ‘Do Not Read’ memory book.

It’s missing. He spent hours frantically looking for it yesterday before collapsing onto his bed in a heap of panicked exhaustion. He has checked every public chest on the server, and all of his own personal chests, at least three times. No book. 

That book is the one that details his deliberate betrayal of L’Manberg by giving Technoblade his armor back (peer pressure, please, he was subjected to peer pressure); the one that talks about his concerns with L’Manberg’s government and his sympathy for Phil; the one that would tell everyone he knew that Tommy’s been alive this whole time and Dream is a liar. 

He had nightmares all last night of the Butcher Army turning on him and forcing him beneath the falling anvil that was meant for Technoblade, while the rest of the server members stood there with deeply disappointed expressions on their faces, their eyes calling him ‘traitor.’ 

“Everything’s going to be fine,” Ranboo mutters to himself as he sprints through the rain, wincing every time the water hits the bare skin of his face or the gangly wrists that stick out of the slightly-too-short arms of his suit jacket. “ _God_ , you need to grow a backbone.”

He takes his crown off and shakes the droplets out of his hair once he’s inside, sighing in relief. 

“Ranbow! You’re here!” Tubbo says with a small wave. Quackity is already there as well, sitting at the opposite end of the table from the President, a brooding look on his face, fingers steepled and resting against his lips.

“Yep, I’m -- I’m here,” Ranboo says, trying not to sigh at the mispronunciation of his name. It isn’t worth arguing at this point -- they’ve decided they know better than he does how his name is supposed to be, and so he just has to deal with it. 

“Took you long enough,” Quackity mutters. He’s really going for the whole supervillain pose right now, Ranboo thinks, looking him over.

“We’re still waiting on Fundy,” Tubbo says quickly, clearly trying to head off a possible argument -- although Ranboo doesn’t argue with Quackity about the big things. That’s a good way to end up in an anvil death trap. Or in pieces underneath a diamond axe. Neither of which he particularly wants.

 _Well you lost the book so that may just happen to you anyway_ , says a nasty little voice in the back of his mind.

Fundy darts in a moment later, wet and looking annoyed, ears laid back flat against his head and cap tilted down over his face. “Am I late?”

“Yes,” says Quackity. Ranboo gives Fundy a little wave.

“All right!” says Tubbo, a little nervously, bringing his hands together. “Let’s get started on the cabinet meeting. Ranboo, are you all set with the notes?”

Ranboo pulls out the _other_ book, the safe-for-other-people, official records book. “Yup, all set,” he says. 

The meeting is routine enough to start lulling Ranboo into some semblance of security. Surely if one of them had found the book they would have brought it up by now. _Oh, yeah, by the way, Ranboo is a traitor who turned around and helped our biggest enemy five minutes after his execution_. 

Everything’s going to be fine.

He almost believes it.

He really almost does. 

And then Quackity stands up suddenly, cutting Tubbo off and making Ranboo (who is already twitchier than usual) flinch violently. “Mr. President, I have something to say.”

“Uh… Go ahead?” Tubbo seems unsure. Ranboo wonders, not for the first time, how much power the young president really wields. 

“Mr. President, members of the cabinet,” Quackity begins, pulling something from his pocket, “there is a traitor in our midst.”

It is dead silent. Tubbo’s eyes are wide. Quackity has a grim look on his face. Slowly he reaches into his apron and pulls out a book.

Then he _slams_ it down on the table. Ranboo lets out an involuntary Enderman noise, and Tubbo and Fundy both jump.

“Y’know, I was always really curious about how Technoblade got his armor back,” Quackity says, his gaze taking in the whole room. Everyone is on edge, wondering what he will say -- well, all except for Ranboo, who has a pretty good idea where this is going, but can’t get out without sealing his doom. 

Maybe -- maybe they’ll let him talk it out, give his side; he can explain how he was pressured into giving the armor back, he can… he can…

 _You wrote exactly what happened in the book, you idiot_ , says that nasty little voice again. _He KNOWS. You’ve been friendly with Technoblade and Philza and TOMMY. There’s no way to get out of this_.

“And you know what? I finally found out,” Quackity is saying. “Because it’s all written down in this little book right here. Right _here!"_ He brandishes the book.

“But -- whose book is it?” Fundy asks. His ears are pricked up, alert, and his eyes dart from person to person.

Here it is. Ranboo braces himself.

“The traitor is Ranboo!” Quackity yells, pointing. “It was so _obvious!_ I don’t know how we didn’t see it before -- he’s always disappearing, he never answers a straight question… God! I mean, how long have you been selling us out to Technoblade, man?”

“I-I haven’t been, I never told him anything important, I just gave back the--” Ranboo tries to defend himself, but like always, he is ignored.

Quackity shakes his head. “ _Oh, I’ll be loyal, I’d never do anything to betray L’Manberg_ ,” he mocks in low-pitched, dumb-sounding voice. “What a load of BS.”

“Ranboo?” Fundy sounds so weary, so hurt.

“I didn’t mean to give the armor back, he threatened me, I just -- the pressure -- and I was worried about Phil, and--” Ranboo is babbling now; he forces himself to stop.

Tubbo’s face has grown cold -- probably at the ‘pressure’ excuse. It’s the same one Techno used for blowing Tubbo up at the Manberg Festival (Ranboo knows people call it the Red Festival unofficially).

“You’re spineless,” Quackity sneers. “You’re so spineless, Ranboo. The slightest tiny bit of pressure and you just cave. Did you ever even care about our cause? About L’Manberg? Or did we just _pressure_ you?”

“No, no, I did!” Ranboo says, frantically. If nothing else, he has to convince them that he really does care about this country. “This is my home, of course I care!” 

“You helped Technoblade!” Tubbo yells.

“That’s not all, that’s not all,” Quackity says, almost eagerly. “He knew Tommy was alive the whole time! He had ammunition against Dream and he never told us!”

“T-tommy?” Tubbo falters, his gaze going from Ranboo back to Quackity.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Quackity says, nodding rapidly. “He knew, he knew!”

Tubbo’s expression hardens as he turns back to Ranboo. “You knew… all along… that Tommy wasn’t dead… and you didn’t say _anything_ until he showed up again?”

Ranboo opens his mouth, then closes it again. Nothing he says can help him at this point. 

“And, and, _and_ he’s been back to Technoblade’s base! Multiple times!” Quackity says, like he can’t keep it in any longer. “This is unbelievable. Unbelievable, Ranboo. Did you really think we wouldn’t find out?” He laughs, almost hysterically. “You’re never gonna be president now!”

“I say we lock him up until the festival,” Tubbo orders, motioning at Fundy. “Go get the manacles from the courthouse, we’ll keep him under guard.” He glares at Ranboo. “We’ll determine your sentence between now and the festival.”

Ranboo swallows. “Please, I never meant to hurt anyone, I was really careful -- I- I never told them anything that would hurt L’Manberg, I didn’t even tell them we were going after Dream, I just wanted to make everyone happy and I didn’t think the government was going about everything the right way and I felt bad because I thought we were going to give Technoblade a trial but we didn’t and I owed Phil and Ghostbur was so nice to me and we bonded and Tommy’s my friend, I couldn’t say no to him--”

“Tommy’s my friend, too,” Tubbo says, cutting him off, and there’s so much pain in his eyes that it startles Ranboo into silence. 

Fundy returns with the same enchanted iron manacles they used for Philza, clamping them around Ranboo’s ankles with a set face. 

“Where are we going to keep him? His house?” Fundy asks, straightening up. 

Tubbo and Quackity exchange glances. “Sam?” says Quackity, and Ranboo’s heart just about stops. They are _not_ talking about dumping him in Awesamdude’s shiny new impenetrable prison. Nope, no, no, no--

“No, we’d have to ask Dream,” Tubbo replies with a grimace and Ranboo lets out an audible sigh of relief.

“House arrest it is,” Fundy says, grabbing Ranboo’s arm and pulling him out of the meeting room. “Come on.”

Fundy drags Ranboo behind him down the hall -- it’s hard for Ranboo to match the fox-man’s quick pace with the manacles around his ankles. He digs his heels in as they approach the exit, however. “Is it still raining?” he asks, unable to keep the tremor out of his voice. The events of the last ten minutes are all starting to hit home.

He’s been caught.

No one in L’Manberg will trust him ever again. 

He’s ruined everything. 

Fundy sneers at him. “Yeah. Guess that’s rough for you. _Traitor_. Come on,” he orders again, dragging the unwilling half-Enderman outside into the downpour. Ranboo grits his teeth and suffers the slow pace in silence until they get back to his house. Fundy shoves him inside then blocks up the door.

“You’re not allowed out,” he says from the other side. “We’ll be keeping a close eye on you. No pulling a Philza,” he spits, and Ranboo bows his head, though he knows Fundy can’t see him.

“See you at the festival,” Fundy calls, his voice growing more distant. “Traitor!”

-0-

The day of the festival is sunny and clear, so he’s got that going for him at least, Ranboo thinks, fatalistically. He’s been locked in his house for the last week with only himself and his pets for company. He doesn’t even know who’s coming to the festival.

He considered communicating with Tommy or Phil or even Technoblade throughout the long week, but ultimately he decided against it. He doesn’t know whether they would even risk coming to help him -- well, Tommy probably would, but despite the rapport he’s established with Phil and Techno, he doesn’t think they would necessarily bail him out. Not if they realized what kind of person he was. They’d never fully trusted him in the first place, anyway. No, they wouldn’t come help him. 

Ghostbur crosses his mind briefly, but is quickly dismissed as not likely to be very helpful, if he even comes to L’Manberg. 

Ranboo knows his sentence is most likely going to be execution. He deserves this. He has no excuse for aiding Techno and Phil -- or even withholding information that would have exposed Dream as a liar -- and Tubbo and Quackity have been betrayed too many times to be lenient with him. They’re going to make the example of him that they couldn’t make of Techno or Phil.

He’s alternately angry and despondent about this. He has two lives left, this won’t be the _end_ \-- but it’s still going to hurt. 

It was his own fault, anyway. His stupid memory loss. If he hadn’t written everything down, if he just had the ability to say no to people, if he just was more careful--

But thinking like that won’t do him any good. He tries to distract himself from his impending doom by playing with his pets. It works for a little while, until the sound of mining comes from outside his door. He gets up, shifting his cat from his lap, and goes to open the door, chains dragging along behind him. 

It’s the whole gang -- Tubbo, Quackity, and Fundy. Their expressions are unreadable. 

“H-hey, guys,” Ranboo says, waving awkwardly. Behind them, L’Manberg is decorated for the festival; a good number of people are milling around. 

“Ranboo,” says Tubbo, pulling out a piece of paper and reading from it. “For the crime of treason, you have been sentenced to death by beheading. The sentence will be carried out at the end of the festival today.” He looks up and Ranboo nods silently. Quackity pulls out his diamond axe and smiles nastily as Tubbo continues. “Afterward, you will be imprisoned, as you have been deemed a danger to the freedom and safety of L’Manberg. This prison sentence is undefined for the current time.”

Ranboo blinks at that. “Whoa, wait, that can’t be legal,” he says, frowning. Execution he can deal with, even if it’s without a real trial. But imprisonment with no defined end date? Even if it’s, like, two hundred years or something that’s essentially a life sentence? He knew the legal system was scuffed, but he didn’t know they’d let it slip this far. 

“You’re really complaining about legality, _traitor_?” Fundy barks out a laugh. “That’s rich, since it feels like you didn’t really care about our laws before.”

“I’ve always cared about the law!” Ranboo shoots back, stung. “I cared more than you all did!”

“Look, I make the law,” says Tubbo, and his voice is colder than Ranboo has ever heard it. It hurts. What happened to the enthusiastic kid who loved bees and who gushed excitedly over his Guardian farm and worried about doing the right thing, not becoming another Schlatt?

“Yeah, you’re going down, Ranboo,” Quackity says, just as harshly. 

“Come with us,” Fundy says, and they escort Ranboo to a wooden contraption near the edge of the plaza -- still visible to the festival-goers but mostly out of the way. Ranboo glances up but he can’t see any anvils. Small blessings. 

They lock him in after making sure he doesn’t have tools or Ender pearls on him, and Ranboo is forced to watch the festival from his cage, enduring the curious and wary looks he gets from the other attendees.

He doesn’t see Niki, and he’s both happy and sad about it. Happy, because it means that the woman who’s been like an older sister to him since he came on the server won’t see him mercilessly executed. Sad, because he could use a friend here. Some of the people look sympathetic, but they clearly don’t know all the details, or they’re too scared of Tubbo and Quackity to show outright support. 

No one gets close enough to talk to him.

He’s been sitting in this cage for three hours, and he is miserable. His sharp black suit is great when indoors or trying to look professional, but under the sun, trapped in a space that’s just slightly too small for him to stand up fully, it is another layer of torture. 

Ranboo is staring out at the festival, trying desperately to distract himself from how absolutely miserable he is, when he catches the faintest trace of bubbles, trailing along the pathway.

They look like invis bubbles. Someone is sneaking into L’Manberg with an invisibility potion on. The faintest sliver of hope starts to raise its head. Who would be sneaking into L’Manberg but the server’s resident anarchists? Maybe… maybe they can get him out.

No sooner has he had this thought than he hears a hushed “Ranboo!” from his left. He glances over and sees the bubbles again. 

“Ranboo!” the invisible man repeats, sounding shocked. “It’s Tommy! What did they do to you, big man? Why’re you locked up like this?”

“They found my secret memory book,” Ranboo whispers back. “It talked about me knowing you were alive and me giving Techno his armor back and all of that stuff. So they locked me up for treason. They’re going to execute me at the end of the festival, Tommy, and then they’re going to keep me locked up for life!” he hisses, and he can’t keep the panic from creeping into his voice. 

Clearly he hasn’t quite resigned himself to his fate -- the little sliver of hope is making it more difficult to accept his own death with equanimity. 

“ _WHAT?_ ” Tommy whisper-shrieks. “What the-- Hold on, we gotta get you out of there. I’ll get Phil and Techno, sit tight!” The bubbles dash away.

“No, I was going to get up and walk away,” Ranboo grumbles to himself. 

Three trails of invis bubbles are soon coming carefully toward Ranboo’s cage. Tommy explains the situation and there is a moment of silence. 

“We’ll get you out of there,” Phil promises finally. “You’ve been good to us.”

“Capturin’ orphans wouldn’t be the same without you,” is all Techno has to say on the subject, but Ranboo takes that to mean that he will help as well. 

“The best time is when they’ll have you up on the stage for the execution,” says Phil. 

“That sounds risky,” Ranboo interrupts, nervously. 

“We’ve got somethin’ planned,” Techno assures him, and Ranboo is sure he’s got that diabolical smile on his face. “Why’d you think we were here in the first place?”

“What --” Ranboo clears his throat. “What are you going to do?”

“Minor terrorism,” Techno replies, completely deadpan, which sets Phil off in a fit of snickers. He sobers quickly, however.

“Just trust us, Ranboo,” he says quietly. “We won’t let anything bad happen to you, yeah?”

“Okay,” says Ranboo.


	2. And All He Had to Do Was Die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well the festival happened sooner than I thought it would so this in no way reflects canon RIP  
> That was a great event though, definitely got some good character development for several people and fun things in store for the future! (Poor Techno and Ranboo, man...)
> 
> Anyway, this chapter's title is from "The Room Where It Happens" (again). I did use some of Ranboo's philosophy and lines from the festival stream because I thought they were quite good. Also, just as a side note, I adore Winged!Phil but it didn't quite work for this so he does not have wings in this story. ALSO also I'm very sorry if Tommy or Tubbo seem out of character because I'm not very good at writing them.

Ranboo’s legs are cramping and he can’t stretch them out in this stupid cage. It’s the least of the things he has to worry about right now but it’s the most immediate, so that’s what he focuses on. Techno, Tommy, and Phil have disappeared, and he can’t for the life of him figure out what, exactly, it is they have planned. 

He almost hopes it’s almost time for his execution. Anything to get him out of the cage. It is about ten minutes later when Fundy walks up to him, his muzzle pulled into a snarl.

“Time to go,” he says, unlocking the door and waiting impatiently for Ranboo to slowly crawl out. His legs are in agony.

“Give me -- a sec --” he pants, getting to his feet. The enchanted manacles are still clamped around his ankles, making walking difficult. 

Fundy huffs and escorts him up to the main stage, the one near Ranboo’s own house. Ranboo hangs his head but keeps a careful eye out for the tell-tale invis bubbles. 

He can’t see any.

That’s probably a good sign.

Everything’s fine. 

There is a low murmur that goes through the crowd when Fundy drags him up next to Tubbo. Quackity has his diamond axe out, and there is an iron block set at the front of the stage. 

“People of L’Manberg!” Quackity shouts, and the murmurs die down. “One week ago, we -- your cabinet -- discovered a traitor! This traitor was passing information and supplies to our sworn enemy, Technoblade, even while we were trying to have that pig bastard arrested and executed!”

Ranboo almost wants to speak up and say that he didn’t help Technoblade until  _ after  _ the whole execution fiasco but he’s pretty sure that won’t go over well.

“L’Manberg has been betrayed too many times!” Quackity goes on, Tubbo nodding beside him. 

Ranboo’s eyes happen to land on Eret, who is in the crowd. The former king winces visibly, and there is something in his set expression that tells Ranboo that he may understand this situation more than most. 

“And the punishment for traitors is death!” 

_ Any time now, guys, _ thinks Ranboo, straining for the slightest indication that Tommy and Techno and Phil are coming back like they said they would.

It’s fine. They’ll come. 

Everything’s fine. 

And of course it is that moment, when Ranboo is being pushed to his knees in front of the chopping block, when Quackity is raising his axe, when Ranboo has almost lost hope, that Dream decides to show up. 

Everything instantly freezes. Tubbo’s face goes white. Fundy snarls. Quackity lifts his axe into an on-guard position.

“Am I late?” the green-cloaked man asks, tilting his masked face to the side. “Heard there was a festival happening today. I got an invite and everything.”

Quackity is the first to recover, taking a wild swing at Dream that he easily dodges. “You’re the reason for all of this!” he yells, hacking at him again. Dream leaps back fluidly and perches on the edge of the nearest roof. 

“Wow, I do you the  _ favor _ of showing up to your festival that you so  _ generously _ invited me to and this is how you treat me? I’m hurt.”

Ranboo sits up carefully, edging away from the chopping block. The further away he is from everyone, the better.

This is still fine. Just a little… unexpected. Dream had said he’d be coming; that was the whole point of the festival originally: to get Dream. The whole book thing had just kind of driven that completely from his mind.

“In fact,” Dream is saying. “I’m so hurt that I think I might rescind our little truce.” He has straightened up from his crouch, casually blocking an arrow that Tubbo shoots at him as he does so. “Do you  _ really _ want to be on my bad side again?” he asks, and though his voice is light and pleasant, there is a steely undertone. 

Ranboo has never been more terrified of a smiley face. 

There is a slurping noise and then Tommy appears, fully visible, on the stage. “You green bastard! I want my discs back!” he shouts, and the crowd is suddenly in an uproar. Ranboo catches snippets like  _ Exiled!  _ and  _ Griefer! _ and  _ Still alive? _

“Tommy -- Tommy, what are you doing here, what…?” stammers Tubbo, staring at his old friend. 

Tommy ignores them all. “The discs, Dream!” he yells. 

“Hey, mate,” a worried voice that Ranboo recognizes as Phil’s whispers in his ear. “Let’s get you out of here.”

“Was this the plan?” Ranboo whispers back, as Phil slips him an invis potion and they climb up the hill at the back side of the stage. 

There is a pause before Phil says, grimly, “No.” 

Ranboo sucks in a breath.

“He’s got Techno, he’ll be all right,” says Phil, and it sounds like he’s trying to convince himself as well as Ranboo. “But we’ve got to get out of here, there’s too much about to happen.”

“Tommy, what’re you doin’?” Techno calls from below them. 

“He needs to give me back my discs!” Tommy yells back, and Ranboo can see him waving his sword in Dream’s direction. 

“We -- we should help,” Ranboo says, as they get further into the forest outside L’Manberg. “We can’t just leave them.”

Phil hesitates, pauses his invisible steps. “Let’s get those chains off first,” he says. “Sit down real quick.” Ranboo sits, sticking his long legs out in front of him. The manacles are still visible, being unaffected by the potion. Phil pulls out his pickaxe and swings; the chains shudder and clang but hold fast. Ranboo flinches at the sudden loud noise. Phil swings again; another clatter and clang but the enchantments are strong. 

“One more should do it,” Phil grunts, and gives it one more swing. The chains finally give way, the enchantments unraveling and the manacles falling off. Ranboo rubs his ankles in relief. “Are your things in an Ender chest?” Phil asks.

Ranboo nods, and Phil sets one down and lets him fish out his set of netherite armor and some of his tools that he hadn’t been allowed to have on him.

“Back now,” Phil orders, and they run back toward L’Manberg. 

“I’m not giving you the discs back, Tommy,” Dream is saying, the impatience now audible in his voice. Techno and Tommy’s sudden appearance has thrown the residents of L’Manberg into disarray, and the festival has fallen apart altogether. Quackity’s gaze darts from Dream to Techno and back again, as if trying to decide which is the bigger threat. Tubbo’s eyes are fixed on Tommy. Fundy’s ears are flat against his head, though whether it is in anger or fear, Ranboo can’t tell. 

“Oh, come on, come on, Dream,” says Tommy. “I’ll kill you, I will!”

“No you won’t.” Dream’s voice is flat. 

“Maybe not, but  _ I _ will,” says Technoblade coldly. “You know I can, Dream. You really want to stand in our way?”

Dream’s head turns unnervingly quickly in Technoblade’s direction. Ranboo is devoutly thankful he is invisible at the moment. 

“Why don’t we all just take a step back?” Phil asks, appearing on the stage. He is holding a small flask of milk -- it is half empty, and disappears into a pocket swiftly. He holds his hands up in a pacifying gesture but Ranboo sees what most of the others have not -- Phil has placed a button on the stone wall behind him.

_ This _ must be closer to the original plan. 

“Tommy, listen to me, now’s not the time,” Phil says, keeping his hands up and voice even. He edges nearer to the button. Tommy scowls, lowers his sword.

“Grandpa?” says Fundy in a weak voice. Ranboo hopes he’s feeling guilty. Phil ignores him. 

“Philza,” says Dream, tilting his head to the side again. “What a surprise. The gang’s all here.”

Quackity glances around and then lets out a yelp. “Where’s Ranbow?” 

Ranboo holds his breath. Phil’s eyes don’t even flicker in his direction, however, as he says, “Long gone. As well he should be. He didn’t deserve the way you treated him.” 

“Your citizenship retention is pretty terrible,” Techno comments, casually slinging his crossbow back over his shoulder. (Ranboo thinks he sees Tubbo and Quackity look suddenly relieved.)

“Yeah,” Tommy joins in, a grin beginning to form on his face. “But we can help with that!”

And Phil presses the button, at the same moment that Techno pulls out a full-on  _ stack _ of soul sand and starts spawning Withers. 

The crowd scatters as a veritable  _ army  _ of slavering hounds come charging out of the opening that Phil has created, snarling and barking and utterly terrifying. There are dozens upon dozens, more war dogs than Ranboo has ever seen in one place in his life.

While the dogs go after those on the ground, the Withers rain down destruction from above. Ranboo looks on, horrified, as L’Manberg is brutally and efficiently torn apart. He hadn’t signed up for this. His friends -- his home--

But they were perfectly willing to turn on him. Were they really his friends? They hadn’t even waited to hear his side. He helps people who help him; he helps his friends. Tommy, Techno, and Phil had helped him. Could they… become friends? 

As for his home… A home can be anywhere. He can build a dirt house and it can be home. All L’Manberg had done was cause trouble, ever since its founding -- forced people to pick sides and make enemies.

“We leave!” Techno roars above the noise of the destruction, and holds his trident aloft, springing into the air. Tommy is quick to use an Ender pearl and follow. 

“Ranboo?” Phil calls, dodging a slash from Punz. “You coming, mate?”

“Uh -- yeah! I’m coming!” Ranboo shouts back. His invis will last him another minute or so at most, so he uses it to his best ability, slipping through the chaos until he can get to a puddle where he can use his trident, launching himself in the general direction Technoblade has gone. Phil is close behind, using his own trident. 

“We’ve got boats near the shore,” Phil shouts to him as they rocket through the air. “We’ll take those back to Techno’s base.”

Ranboo nods in acknowledgment, waiting for Phil to go ahead, seeing as he knew where the boats were.

Once they are a good way out to sea, all four of them seem to take a collective deep breath in and out, then laugh about it. Ranboo’s invisibility has worn off, and he sits behind Phil in the little spruce boat, keeping his long limbs firmly away from the water.

“How the heck did you get that many dogs?” he says finally, breaking the slightly awkward silence that had fallen.

“Bred ‘em,” calls Techno over his shoulder from his own boat. “Hid ‘em near the sewers until we needed ‘em. Then me and Phil built the tunnel behind the stage and Tommy helped us move all the dogs so they were in position.”

Ranboo hums, impressed and slightly intimidated by the sheer amount of planning that has gone into this day.

“ _ Minor _ terrorism,” Phil snickers. “Yeah, right.”

“We still didn’t get my discs back,” Tommy complains, his face set in a decided pout.

“It wasn’t the right time, Tommy,” says Phil.

“And now that L’Manberg’s gone--” (“Pog,” says Phil) “--our whole focus can be on those discs,” Techno adds. 

“You’ll, uh -- you’ll have to move bases,” Ranboo points out. “Most of the people on the server know the general area where you guys live.”

Techno nods. “We were plannin’ on that. We have most of our stuff packed up already. You comin’ with us, Ranboo?”

The question isn’t backed by any sort of physical threat, but Ranboo still shrinks down in his seat. “I guess I kind of have to,” he mutters. “I can’t go back to L’Manberg -- even if they rebuild again, they won’t want me there.”

Phil glances at him, and his gaze is understanding. “But you don’t think you want to stay with us?”

Ranboo hastily tries to explain. “No! I mean, you guys are my friends, and it’s always great when I see you and I wouldn’t want to never see you again or anything! But I don’t know if I can do the whole --  _ anarchy _ thing,” he admits. “I’m kind of a law and order guy, even if I’d rather no one had to pick sides.”

“Well, how about you see where we’re going, and then you decide whether you want to join us or just stay nearby?” Phil suggests.

“Where are you going?” Ranboo asks, frowning. His curiosity has been piqued. There’s not many more places on the server they can go where they won’t be easily found. 

“I still think it’s a bad idea,” Tommy interjects. “We don’t know what kind of welcome we’ll get.”

Techno snorts. “Well, you and I are goin’ to get a terrible welcome, which is why we’re not goin’ in, and buildin’ our base a ways away instead.”

“I’m sorry,  _ where _ is this?” Ranboo interrupts, still very confused. 

Phil takes pity on him. “Dry Waters,” he says. “We’re going to Niki’s city.”

Ranboo blinks. Niki? Niki! She won’t hate him. Or, well, she will let him explain, at least. He can start all over, far away from L’Manberg with a semi-blank slate and a much better environment for his hydrophobic self. This is perfect.

And even if she does hate him when he comes bringing three anarchists and the news of L’Manberg’s destruction, he can go live in the desert and visit Tommy and Phil and Techno every so often and tame new pets and keep himself to himself, where he can’t hurt anyone and he won’t cause any more trouble and everything will be fine. 

It’s a vision of life he can… well, live with. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOUND ARMY POG!!!!!! Don't lie you all thought it was going to be TNT lol. But please, blowing up L'Manberg with TNT is SO overdone, everyone's done that at this point, c'mon :P
> 
> Also for the sake of story let us assume the hound army doesn't precisely follow Minecraft dog rules and so they will just continue to do their own thing after Techno has left--
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed this. Don't know quite how I feel about this ending but that's where we're stopping for now :)


End file.
